Secret codes that kids/ teenagers use and parents need to know

Thank you Parentlogy for this post and information.

If you come across words in your kids texts and instagram or snap chat posts that you may not be aware off.  You may want to check them below. We will keep adding to this list as we get more information.

1. KMS/KYS – Kill Myself/Kill Yourself

2. WTTP – Want to Trade Pics? ( Be mindful this usually implies inappropriate pictures)

3. FWB – Friends with Benefits

4. TDTM – Talk Dirty to Me

 5. 99 – Parents are gone

6. MOS/POS – Mom/Parent Over Shoulder

7. Thirsty – Desperate for Attention

8. Lit/Turnt Up – Party Hard, Get High or Drunk

9. Zerg – to Gang Up or Bully on Someone (Usually Online)

you can find the rest of the post here.

 

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Research links cyber bullying to increased rates of depression amongst teenagers

Research links cyber bullying to increased rates of depression.

“Nearly one-third of teens have experienced symptoms of depression, which, in addition to changes in sleep pattern, include persistent irritability, anger and social withdrawal.

And nearly 15 per cent of U.S. high school students reports being bullied electronically. At severe levels, depression may lead to disrupted school performance, harmed relationships or suicide.”

More on the article can be seen here. 

Malaysian Teen commits Suicide after Instagram Poll encourages her to take her own life..

A 16-year-old Malaysian girl killed herself after more then 69% of respondents encouraged her to kill her self when she posted a Die or Live D/L poll online on instagram.

More details available here .

Where it is important we teach our kids to be strong, it is equally important we teach our kids the importance of Mental Health. We should teach them to never ever take a D/L survey lightly, for you never know the state of mental health of the person posting the survey.

Safer Tomorrow tracking news about bullying.

Safer Tomorrow is now starting a new initiative providing news about buIllying, cyber bullying and violence and aggression from all over the world.  It will allow researchers, teachers, academics, parents to get an idea of what is going around in the world.

The figures coming from schools become more and more concerning every year, this will allow me track the news as it comes out.  The posts will include snipits of the articles with links and a brief intro. 

Feel free to tag/ leave a comment if you find it useful.

Bullying ‘intolerably high’ and beyond schools’ direct control – ERO report says

Article coming out of NZ on TVNZ Site.

The article is quite concening. It identifies the high levels of bullying at the primary school level, with the rates of verbal and or social bullying being quite high.

Read on below..

“The report – which surveyed 10,940 in 136 schools at the beginning of last year – said nearly half of primary school children and a third of teenagers reported being bullied in the past month when they responded last year.

 

However, the true rate of bullying might be even higher because a quarter of the students who said they had not been bullied also reported that they had been subjected to negative behaviour such as being threatened or assaulted.

 

“The prevalence of bullying in New Zealand schools is intolerably high, and the impact of bullying on student wellbeing and achievement is significant,” the report said.

 

The report found boys were more likely to be bullied than girls but gender-diverse children suffered most, with 58 per cent saying they had been bullied at school. Bullying rates were also high for Māori students (42 per cent) and Pākehā students (40 per cent).

Name-calling, put-downs and teasing were one of the most common forms of bullying with 36 per cent of children saying they were subjected to such abuse at least once a month, and some said they experienced it every day.

 

The most common forms of bullying:

Ignored/left-out – 38%

Name-calling/teasing – 36%

Lies/bad stories – 29%

Forced to do something – 22%

Assaulted – 21%

Items stolen or damaged – 21%

Phone or computer messages – 12%

Threatened – 17%

Nearly one quarter of students said they had been hit, pushed, kicked, punched or choked at least once a month, and 12 per cent had suffered cyber-bullying via their phone or computer in the past month………..

Cyber Bullying – Some Precautions

Mallory Grossman, a 12 year-old 6th Grade New Jersey middle school student died in a “suspected Suicide” in June 2017. Her parents stated that she was being bullied on social media and her friends concurred by saying she was being bullied on Snapchat.

To understand more about cyber bullying click here.

Every day in the US there are 5240 suicide attempts by children in 7th-12th Grade. According to the CDC although there are many triggers such as teen depression, academic pressure, family relationships etc. Bullying remains the number two cause of teenage suicide. The steps below identify some of the precautions parents can take in an attempt to keep our children safe from cyber bullying.

Precautions Against Cyber Bullying

  • Have access to your child’s PW and Account Logins. (Make this a requirement before you hand them their first device).
  • Have a device curfew at night. All devices need to be charged in an adult’s room i.e. the parent or guardian. This prevents and protects preteens and younger teenagers from being surrounded with and exposed to social media and hence potential cyber bullying all the time.
  • Monitor your child’s devices and keep yourself updated on app’s being used by today’s youth.
  • Block/ unfriend the person’s email or phone account who has been “bullying” your child.
  • Remember to tell them “this is not your fault! So don’t hide it.”
  • Teach your children words can hurt and kill so be careful of what you say to other people.

Media Articles on Cyber Bullying and Grooming

The man responsible for Amanda Todd’s suicide was sentenced to 11 years in prison by the Dutch Court. Amanda, the teen from British Columbia, committed suicide in 2012 at the age of 15 after being blackmailed and bullied online.

11-year-old Tysen Benz died in Michigan, three weeks after attempting to commit suicide. Tysen had received a prank on his phone that his ” girlfriend” was committing suicide.

In November 2015 Kayleigh Haywood was brutally raped and murdered in the UK after being groomed for 15 days by a stranger through social media. Her brave parents agreed to have Kayleigh’s story converted into a short film to save the life of other teens.

11-year-old Asad committed suicide in September 2016 in Bradford, UK after being bullied in school. Cases such as Asad’s are unfortunately becoming more frequent.

14-year-old Breck Brednar was murdered in 2014 after being groomed through an online video game chat. This is his mother’s story.

13-year old Emilie Olsen shot herself in December 2014 after facing years of bullying in school.

 

Social Media and Technology

Social Media and Technology are a concern for parents and guardians and for us at Safer Tomorrow  for two main reasons.

  1. Cyber Bullying
  2. Grooming

What is Cyber Bullying?

Cyber Bullying is to harass or intimidate someone through the use of technology and social media. This includes text messages,  online chat rooms, social media platforms such as twitter and facebook and instant messaging services such as whatsapp and snapchat amongst many others.

The trouble with cyber bullying is multifold.

The bully can reach the children and teenagers even in their safe zone ie their homes, through the internet and their phones.

It is persistent.  The child is exposed to it 24/7. Whereas traditional styles of bullying are limited to time and place, there is no such restriction to cyber bullying

The material used to bully the victim can be used as blackmail. It can be easily sent to the victim’s social circles with a single click. This makes the results of cyberbullying even more devastating for the victims. It makes it more difficult to “live it down” and start fresh.

What is Grooming?

Grooming with reference to social media and technology is the process by which a person establishes and develops an emotional contact with children and teenagers. This person slowly develops and builds trust with these young people with the purpose of eventually sexually abusing or exploiting them or using them for human trafficking. Grooming is not just restricted to girls, boys have been targets of grooming also.

According to the NSPCC in the UK, groomers can be strangers or someone the child knows and it can happen face to face or online.

Stay Tuned to our blog for media reports and articles on Bullying, Cyber Bullying and Grooming.

The beginning…

It was 2012. I was sitting on a bench in a New York playground. Watching my then 3-year-old playing while trying to keep my 4-month-old quiet, I saw a 5-year-old verbally push my 3-year old around. I was shocked. I wasn’t new to the city. We had spent two summers in the big apple already.

I had a degree in International Peace studies and had volunteered as a violence prevention trainer for a high school. As a young mother, what shocked me was the age of the child. I expected 3rd or 4th graders to be aggressive, but was totally blindsided by a 5-year old trying to control his turf in a New York playground. In retrospect, I should not have been surprised as I repeatedly saw children behave this way across the parks in Manhattan and Jersey City. It was the only way to survive and thrive. New York while really vibrant was a tough city to live in. It taught it’s young ones to be tough from a tender age.

My active imagination fast forwarded me 30 to 40 years. If these children were so aggressive at the age of 4 and 5, imagine what the future of the world would be when they became world leaders. Therein was born the idea for Safer Tomorrow. Teaching young kids how to become assertive without being aggressive. Helping young children manage conflict and aggression in our schools, homes and playgrounds. Helping children develop the skills early in life which would help them become great leaders.

I hope you will join us as we work towards a safer tomorrow. Stay tuned for more…